How I told my children Martina was their new mummy - by the beauty queen (with a VERY colourful past!) who became Mrs Navratilova last month
The
new Mrs Martina Navratilova is discussing the copious baggage her famous
spouse brought into their marriage. To clarify, we are talking actual
baggage, rather than the emotional stuff (although it’s safe to conclude
that both are pretty weighty, given the background).
Julia
Lemigova, the former Russian beauty queen who wed the tennis star just
before Christmas, explains that when they were setting up home together,
she was confronted by box after box of Martina’s trophies.
‘She
was going to leave them in storage, but I thought they should be on
display. I started to unpack them, thinking we could do a trophy wall in
one room. When I’d covered four walls, and the ceiling, there were
still boxes to go. I remember looking at it all thinking “Oh my God.” It
brought home how much she had achieved.’
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Julia Lemigova has revealed how she
told her children that former tennis star Martina Navratilova, who she
wed last month, was their new mother
Julia, a
former Russian beauty queen, won the won the final Miss USSR title in
1990 and went on to finish third in Miss Universe in 1991
Julia is amused to find herself
regarded as the David Furnish of the lesbian world, and something of a
poster-girl for same-sex marriage
That
reality was always going to be jaw-dropping, given that Martina is one
of the most successful tennis players in history. In fact, now all the
unpacking is done, there has turned out to be enough silverware to
furnish trophy rooms in all their houses (they have three between them,
two in Miami and one in Paris).
But
one title Martina, 58, never expected to claim was that of ‘wife’. She
has always been forthright on the subject of both her own sexuality (she
came out as bisexual 33 years ago, at a time when it was pretty
unthinkable to do so) and on gay rights in general. On December 15,
though, she took advantage of changes in the law to marry Julia, who has
been her partner for the past six-and-a-half years.
The
marriage in New York was seen very much as a public statement — as the
proposal had been (Martina went down on one knee, on camera, during the
U.S. Open to pop the question). Now Julia is amused to find herself
regarded as the David Furnish of the lesbian world, and something of a
poster-girl for same-sex marriage. But the question remains, given the
amount of (emotional) baggage each woman has brought to the union, is
there really any chance of long-term happiness?
After
all, Martina has had to fight two former lovers through the courts when
they claimed huge swathes of her fortune and Julia herself, who has two
daughters, tragically suffered the loss of a five-month-old son in
suspicious circumstances.
The
boy’s father — wealthy French banker Edouard Stern — died a few years
later during a bondage session with a prostitute. Added to this ‘you
couldn’t make it up’ story is the fact Julia says she didn’t know what
being gay meant until she was an adult.
‘I
grew up in Russia and I didn’t know it existed,’ she says. ‘No one
talked about it. I must have been 17 or 18 — I’d already moved to London
— before I knew that same-sex relationships happened.’ Yet here she is,
discussing the wedding for the first time, and sounding just like any
bride — and a touchy teary, too. ‘Yes it was emotional. How would it not
be?’ says Julia, who still looks like a beauty queen at the age of 42.
Beauty queen Julia, 42, and Martina, 58, married at the Peninsula Hotel in New York City last month
While Julia and Martina speak English
to each other, Julia's daughters speak French between themselves,
English to Martina and Russian to their mother
The
marriage in New York was seen very much as a public statement - very
much like the proposal at the U.S. Open tennis tournament
‘I
had to look at the ceiling to stop myself crying. And I thought Martina
would cry, too. She has a reputation of being very tough — and she is,
on court. But away from that she has a really soft heart. When we were
exchanging the vows, the whole thing hit me — how incredible it was, how
special.’
Her
account is all a bit Hello! magazine to be honest, heavy on the detail
of how they prepared for the big day (Martina had a relaxing bath with a
face pack Julia had prepared for her), but a bit woolly on the big
questions, like how a seemingly heterosexual beauty queen finds herself
in the highest profile lesbian relationship of all.
She
first met Martina at a Parisian dinner party 14 years ago, in what
sounds like a particularly dazzling chapter in a very glamorous (on the
surface at least) life.
‘I
was modelling, living in Paris and meeting all these amazing people —
famous people, royals, and then we were introduced. I’m not a tennis fan
but, of course, I knew who she was and we just got chatting.
'I
suppose our similar Eastern European backgrounds provided the
connection at first. There was a lot in common. I remember her being
very funny, and us just laughing a lot.’
If
she was gay herself at the time, there was no outward sign of it
(although curiously, she refuses to tell me if she’d had gay
relationships before she met Martina, and when I press the issue her PR
says ‘this is not relevant’).
By
the time she met Martina again, in a restaurant in Paris of all places,
eight years had passed and Julia had had two daughters, Victoria, now
13, and Emma, eight, from two different (failed) relationships.
‘I
had a tray of food and I turned round and there was Martina. We
recognised each other and she came and joined us. I introduced my
children, and we chatted. Afterwards I thought: “I want to see this
person again.”’
After all the trophies Martina
(pictured with Brooke Shields, left, and Chris Evert, right) won as one
of the most successful tennis players of all time, one title she never
expected to claim was that of ‘wife’
Happy couple: The pair and Julia's two children, Victoria, 13, and Emma, eight, split their time between Miami and Paris
The couple began as friends, playing
tennis together, but soon love blossomed and Julia and her children
travelled to Martina's home in Miami to visit
She
insists the relationship was platonic at first. ‘She would come round
and play tennis with the girls. She was a friend, first. Then slowly, a
different feeling was growing.’ Julia, who runs a skincare business
called Russie Blanche, was living in Paris at this time. Martina became a
frequent visitor. In time, she and her daughters travelled to Martina’s
home in Miami to visit.
How did they describe their relationship to Julia’s daughters? She says they never had to, at first.
‘They
never asked the question. They saw me being happy. It was that simple.
Martina was just a part of the family. My girls adored her — right from
the off really. She’d play tennis with them, do their homework with them
and cook. They call her Marti — a short, sweet version of Martina.’
But
inevitably, clarification had to come eventually. ‘One day my eldest
daughter came home from school and said people had been saying things.
Not necessarily nice things — at the time same-sex marriage wasn’t legal
in France.’
Whatever was said, her daughter was upset, and curious.
‘She
asked, “Who is Martina?” so we had to sit down and talk about it. I
said: “Martina is someone I love.” Her eyes went all wide. I remember
saying: “I can’t imagine living without her.” Then we had a conversation
about whether they liked Martina being around and I remember my
daughter saying: “I want her to live with us, too.”’
Soon
they were lobbying — successfully — for Martina to propose to their
mother and, in the future, they may be adopted by her. ‘We are not
ruling it out,’ says Julia.
Julia
is at pains to stress how ‘ordinary’ their family life is. ‘The night
before the wedding, we all went ice-skating,’ she says. ‘We are just a
normal family, doing normal things.’
To
be honest, the wonder isn’t how they make a same-sex marriage work, but
how they manage to make a go of family life with so many homes — and
languages — in the mix.
The
family still splits its time between the States and Paris, where Julia
runs a spa as well as her skincare business. While Julia and Martina
speak English to each other (‘we started off trying to speak in Czech
and Russian, but that didn’t really work’), the girls have grown up in
France. ‘The girls speak French between themselves, English to Martina
and Russian to me.’
Just married: Julia and Martina raise a glass together as they tied the knot on December 15 after six-and-a-half years together
Julia said her children were understanding when she explained that she loved Martina and wanted her to move in with them
Then
there’s the small matter of the emotional baggage they both brought
into the relationship. Martina has had several serious relationships
herself and two former lovers, Toni Layton and Judy Nelson (another
beauty queen), claimed huge shares of her fortune. Court cases followed
and both women were granted multi-million-pound payouts.
But
Martina’s private life seems straightforward when compared with
Julia’s. Before our interview I’m warned there is much she will not talk
about and she kicks off by saying that there is much about her early
life ‘that has been wrongly reported’.
Like
what? ‘I read my father was supposed to be in the KGB, which is not
true. He was a colonel, yes, but an engineer, involved in the aviation
industry. So was my mother. It was how they met.’ They enjoyed a
comfortable, middle-class existence. ‘I had a good education and my
parents were quite cultured. There would always be trips to the theatre
or to see the Bolshoi.’
But it was a very rigid society — and she wanted out: ‘I didn’t like being told what to do. I didn’t want to be put in a box.’
She
talks of standing outside hotels in Moscow selling trinkets to tourists
in order to raise funds to get to the West. Her big ambition was to
visit Paris — and her beauty was her passport.
By
the time she was 18, in 1990, she had won the Miss USSR title (the last
woman who would do so) and by 1991, when she came third in the Miss
Universe contest, her glamorous new life began in London.
Julia’s
almost breathless recounting of this fairytale story stops at this
point, and everything becomes extraordinarily hazy. I have no clue what
was happening in her private life at this time and she refuses to
enlighten me.
It
has been rumoured that she moved in elite circles, once holidaying at
the Tuscan holiday home of the Tory politician Lord Lambton. It has also
been claimed that she has been married before (possibly to her model
agency boss), but bizarrely she refuses to clarify this. Why? ‘Can we
move on?’ says her PR. What we do know is that some time around 1997 she
became involved with the colourful and well-connected banker Edouard
Stern, one of France’s richest men.
Her
reticence to elaborate here is more understandable, given subsequent
revelations Stern was a participant in sexual orgies alongside some of
France’s most powerful figures.
Julia's children lobbied -
successfully - for Martina to propose to their mother and, in the
future, they may be adopted by her. Pictured L-R: Brooke Shields,
Victoria Lemigova, Martina Navratilova, Emma Lemigova, Julia Lemigova
and Chris Evert)
Julia first met Martina at a Parisian
dinner party 14 years ago. Pictured L-R: Brooke Shields, Julia Lemigova,
Emma Lemigova, Martina Navratilova, Victoria Lemigova, Chris Evert,
Bill de Blasio and Chirlane McCray
While gay marriage is illegal in some
U.S. states, Julia (pictured with her children Emma and Victoria) admits
that it is even more of a contentious issue in her native Russia
In
2005 he was found shot dead in his Geneva flat, while dressed in pink
latex. It later emerged he had been murdered by his prostitute lover
during a bondage session.
But
that relationship had brought great personal tragedy to Julia, too. In
1999, she had son Maximilien with Stern but before the baby was
six-months old, he died while in the care of his father (his parents had
split up and Maximilien was the subject of a custody battle).
The
circumstances have never been clear (and I’m warned off even broaching
the subject here), but he was being looked after by his nanny, who
vanished soon after his death. At the time, Julia claimed the nanny had
been involved in the death, and a police investigation was launched.
Is
that still under way? ‘Unfortunately not and it was stopped without me
being able to do any further research, so it is out of my control,’ she
says. ‘You cannot force these things. We could not go any further which
makes my loss even more painful.’
Whatever
the truth behind this mystery, it adds a layer of poignancy to her talk
of wanting a stable family life. Was Martina aware of all this past
turmoil? ‘I did tell Martina, and very early on. It was a part of me —
my pain, my grief. My loss is with me every day, every single moment of
the day. I shared that with her.’
Obviously
theirs isn’t your average love story, but as she says, ‘whose is?’ And
while there is much shying away from the details of her early life, she
is vociferous on what it means to be in a same-sex marriage.
Gay
marriage is still illegal in many U.S. states (including Florida, where
Martina has her home), and is an even more contentious issue in her
native Russia (‘there is still a long way to go there,’ she admits).
‘But
I think that seeing couples like us marry is important. Marriage is a
natural progression — and something that just isn’t questioned with
heterosexual couples. I really hope that us marrying in such a public
way gives hope to families like ours.’
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